Finding the Path
By Ambrosia Vynne

This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

copyright 1999 Ambrosia Vynne

The stacks overwhelmed him.  His life was an endless mosaic of demands and books.  When he went to college to get his pristine degree he was under the fantasy that being a Librarian met endless days filled with wondrous books.  He had been so excited when a prominent university in New York wanted him as their head Librarian.   At first the University bulked.  They were unaware that such a young man held so esteemed credentials.  Lewis had been working in libraries since his early teens, harboring a fascination for literary works.  After he finished sorting his stacks, he could be found behind several dusty rows of shelves with his nose deep up one of the many spines that surrounded him.  Reading was an escape route for him, as he never felt comfortable in his environment.  Books were his friends and he had traveled to many fantastic places with in their arms.  Lewis was born a man of means.   Working was not a necessity, but rather an escape from his otherwise boring existence.  His parents had cultivated him into a pristine young man.  They marveled at his life and fought with him for many hours regarding his lack of regard for the opposite sex.  Lewis never had a girlfriend in the true meaning of the word.   He never had relationships with a women.  His parents feared the worse, questioning his sexuality.  Lewis knew god in all his righteousness had nothing to do with his sexuality.  Through his years, as head librarian, he had several quite affairs.  None of them had quest his thirst.  There were times when he questioned his sanity.  Perhaps, he truly was a heterosexual and had not yet met his female counterpart.

He stared at a female student from behind the shelves of books.  She was a beautiful creature as women go.  But Lewis had no urgent desire to shove his cock into any of her orifices.  His cock merely stayed limp inside his pants, like a damp rag.  He mused, I am what I am...whatever that shall be.  He still did not know the answer.  He changed his perspective, looking at a young male student.  His penis did not actually come to life, but there was a slight stirring as if it was waking up from a deep slumber.  The sexual urge did not take over his body, though.  He was not filled with an overwhelming desire to spring from his hiding place and pounce onto the young man.  He just stood staring, wondering why he could not be fulfilled like so many before him.  He looked at his co-workers.  They all suspected his homosexual tendencies, but none of them had enough proof.  Hiding his sexuality was the only way to keep his job.  He didn't keep his job because of the money or prestige, but rather for the freedom it offered him.  He could live his life as he pleased, without tampering from his parents.  The one thing Lewis sought evaded him.   He was searching for an answer to his sexual dilemma, was he Gay or was it just something in his mind.  He looked down at his penis, willing it to answer the question.  "Oh penis what will make you happy...  would it be a boy or a girl?"  The penis stood still in his pants, not making a sound.  It did not rise nor fall with the mention of the choices.  It stayed limp in his pants, as it has done so many times before.  Lewis was no more enlightened prior to asking the question.

On his way home, he walked through the campus courtyard, his mind was not thinking about anything in particular.  He looked around him, not focusing on one thing but taking in all things.  He missed the guy that was looking at him from near the water fountain.  He had graying hair and was a minimum 10 years Lewis' senior.  He had watched Lewis, on many nights aimlessly walking through campus.  His penis twitched with desire.  Like Lewis, he needed to find just the right guy.  He was very selective with whom it slept with.  Not all guys got him going, it was limited to a selective few.  He watched Lewis from abay, telling himself tonight he would approach.  He had watched Lewis almost every night since arriving to the campus.   He got a senior position teaching Sociology.  His students already knew about his Gay tendencies and they didn't care.  He was the best professor in his field and his classes were packed.  As he watched Lewis, the sexual sensations grew.  His desire deepened and he felt himself melting.  Was this love, he asked his penis.   In return his penis responded by getting rock hard.  Lewis looked up, surprised to see Dr. Fredricks by his side.  He had heard about the new Professor of Sociology.  He was as distinguished and handsome as the students boasted.  He was supposedly the best in his field and had written numerous books on the subject of homosexuality.  They walked quietly for a few moments, until Lewis willed himself to speak.  "How do you know?" Lewis questioned.  No further explanation was necessary.  Dr. Federick was use to the question and had been asked that same question many times before.  "Are you attracted?" questioned the Doctor.   "Yes, and no.", responded Lewis.

He explained to the Doctor his confusion.  The Doctor nodded with understanding.   He had heard it all before.  The door needed to be opened and the subject needed to accept his fate.  Lewis, like many others before him, were holding back denying himself true satisfaction.  "Come...  I will show you a way." with that the Doctor led him from campus.  They climbed the old steps to the Doctor's rooms.  He motioned Lewis to sit down and make himself comfortable.  He filled a tumbler with some amber liquid and encouraged Lewis to drink it all.  After several moments, the Doctor got undressed sitting across from Lewis.  He started playing with his large soft cock.  Lewis watched in fascination.  He had never seen a cock so large and so inviting.  "Would you like to taste it?" inquired the doctor.   Lewis thought about the question for a moment.  The liquor was working wonders, relaxing Lewis' tight muscles.  "Yes, I would...", Lewis responded.  "Well, what are you waiting for son?  Come here and taste it!"  Lewis moved from his chair, and looked up at the man once more.  He felt comfortable and strangely enough, turned on.  He slowly moved from his chair and knelt in front of the man.  He took the partially hardened penis into his hands and brought it to his mouth.  It tasted so wonderful.  He felt flood gates release, and arousal cascade through his body.  He wanted...no...he needed...not just needed, but had to have this man...  The feelings were so strong.  He felt torn in two.   A part of him wanted to close the flood gates and sop up the water.  The other part wanted to fling the gates wider, and run naked through the park screaming his escalation at the top of his lungs...  I AM GAY!  He wanted to share the news with his parents, and friends...  He wanted to share the news with himself. 

He placed his mouth over the other man's organ and gently, began to suck.  He ran his tongue down the Doctors shaft, tasting every inch of him.  Yes...this felt so right.  He was amazed by what he fought against, for so long.  He consumed the penis that was set before him.  He angrily flung his clothing off his body, wanting to share his whole self with this wonderful man.  The Doctor stood, embracing Lewis in his warm strong arms.  They embraced and held the embrace for several long moments.  Lewis shed many tears on the man's shoulder, releasing the pain and uncertainty that had plagued him.  The doctor led him to his bed.  He gently laid down Lewis, caressing each and every inch of his naked body.  The love they shared that evening, set the world on fire.  They shared tenderness and kisses.   Their mouths eagerly found each others.  They made love to each other for hours on end, eventually curling up into each others arms, falling into a deep pleasurable sleep.  Lewis woke early, basking in the glow of the morning sun.  He had finally found his path...  the right path.  And no matter how hard his path was or what hurdles were stern about...  it was his path, the right path...  his to follow...  He closed his eyes, and snuggled closer to the man whose bed he shared.   And together, at least for the time being, he would share his path exploring together the wondrous world of erotic love...

 

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